The funder-founder relationship is a lot like getting married, and that's why it needs to be handled with a lot of love and care. While there’s a lot of excitement during the dating phase, the problem is that a lot of these end up in a divorce, creating a lot of mess and unhappiness for everyone concerned.
Any marriage has its ups and downs, & there is often a rocky love-hate relationship between entrepreneurs and investors. The good news is there’s lots which can be done in order to help the marriage become stronger and more stable.
Dating is a lot of fun, because you can pick and choose. You are single, and there are lots of fish in the sea ! You feel you can select whom you want, because you think you are a hot prospect, and any investor would be happy to back you ! It's only when you realize that there are lots of other prospective grooms out there, many of whom are much more attractive than you, because they've got a better pedigree or are more experienced, that you finally realise that raising funds can be really hard work.
Dating can be hard work, because you need to groom and prepare yourself. You need to be charming and persuasive, so he can see what a great catch you are ! Yes, you will get better over time as you get more experience, but you do need to do your research. Please don't jump into bed with the first person who finds you attractive enough to fund - there is no rush ! Remember that this is a long-term relationship, and getting stuck with a wrong partner can be extremely expensive. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and it may take time to the find the right match , so please be patient ! It's helpful to have a wingman, who sings your praises - and your best bet is a paying customer, who is happy to be your evangelist !
The alternative is to go in for an arranged marriage, and this may sound more boring , but it's far more likely to be stable. It does take more time, but it’s often worth the effort, because a good matchmaker will make sure that you're both on the same page. The problem is that the matchmaker charges a fee - and sometimes he cannot help you find the right match despite all the promises he makes ! And even if he does find someone who is interested in getting hitched to you, you still need to be sure that the chemistry between you and the investor is right !
So, you have finally found the right person, and you go off on your honeymoon. Honeymoons are exciting, because you are in love with each other, and you are looking forward to a great time together, but do remember that honeymoons don't last too long ! The actual work of making the marriage starts afterwards when you get back home !
While the funding gets a lot of publicity , and you’re like the new bride whom everyone wants to show off proudly, you need to make sure that you fulfill your end of the bargain, because a marriage is not a one night affair. This is a relationship which needs to get stronger over time, provided you are willing to give it the love and energy it needs.
Part of the problem is that men are from Mars and women are from Venus - and this is true of founders and funders as well ! While some marriages are a delight, where both partners complement each other's strengths, others are a real mess. While there's little you can do about how your investor behaves, there’s a lot which you can do to improve the chances of the marriage being happy by focusing on what's in your control, and doing your best to keep him happy. The secret, as a marriage counsellor will tell you is simple - it's all about communication ! Be open and transparent, and share everything- the good, the bad and the indifferent, so that you create trust and intimacy.
Most investors hate the fact that entrepreneurs reach out to them only when they’re running out of money. We like to hear about your success stories too , so that we can participate at least vicariously in the fact that you're doing well !
Yes, it's true that some marriages don't work out well. The relationship suffers from neglect, and you may require counseling to make sure things don't go sour. Rather than give it up as a lost cause, remember that you selected each other , and it's worth putting in the effort to salvage the bond - after all, divorce can be a really messy affair !
And even if it does end in a divorce, remember that people do get remarried ! A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience, and hopefully you will be a better marriage partner the second time around, because you've learned so much from your mistakes the first time around !